YouTube’s new homepage is utterly ridiculous. One of my issues is how the default setting when you login is a list of recommended videos, as opposed to showing you any new updates by the people you’re subscribed to which is obviously what most of us would prefer to see first. It’s a simple matter of one click to get where you want, but it’s still dumb and this is my blog so I’ll bitch about dumb stuff all I want. However, the bright side to this is sometimes your subscriptions haven’t posted anything new so you’re interested in the recommendations anyway.
At the top of the list today on my recommendations was a How It’s Made video showing the process in a bubblegum factory. Specifically, the Dubble Bubble brand. On one hand, it’s interesting. On the other hand, it’s a little disgusting. It mentions how bubblegum used to be made out of tree resin, and is now synthetic made with plastic and rubber. And two types of sweetener, because nobody wants to chew on a piece of rubber without it tasting like a whole lot of sugar. The closeup of the glucose syrup oozing into the vat was a little unnecessary. Honestly, all the closeups are unnecessary. I love bubblegum, but really, unfinished gum goo is just not something I need to see that close.
Approximately six years ago while working as a cashier at an art supplies store, I was ringing up a customer who looked really familiar. I just figured maybe I’d seen her there before, working in retail means you meet an average of 200 people a day so it’s easy to forget if you’ve helped someone in the past. She had a fair amount of items, so after a while I suddenly realize who she looks like: Audrey, the bubbly blonde with the great singing voice from Little Shop of Horrors. The longer she stood there, the more certain I became. It was easy to recognize her because she still has the bob haircut, and although her voice isn’t as high pitched as her character, her voice is pretty recognizable as well.
One thing I had to do as a cashier was ask each customer if they’re a student or teacher, because that store gives a discount to both. So I asked. She says no and asks why, so I mention the discount.
She laughs and again says no, and jokingly asks “But do you give discounts to actors? Because I’m one of those.”
I can’t help it, I start to get giddy and say “Really? Because you look just like the girl who played Audrey in Little Shop of–”
Visibly giddy as well, she interrupts me and squeals “That’s me!”
I practically knocked everything off the counter trying to get a pen and paper to ask for her autograph. I rarely ask for autographs considering I run into a lot of celebrities, but I just had to get hers.
You’d think we were old friends by the way we acted, we turned into a couple of goofy giggly girls. I was giddy because I was extremely excited to meet her, she was giddy simply because I recognized her. She didn’t say that, of course, but it was obvious. She’s a total sweetheart and I’m glad she was as excited as I was, because I did feel rather silly but it was great to meet her.
Almost every morning, I wake up with music playing in my head. Sometimes it’s a song I was listening to the night before, but most of the time it’s something random, sometimes it’s a song I haven’t even heard in a while. This morning I woke up with one of my favorite songs in my head, I figured it was about time I started a regular blog feature of my “morning song” if it was a good one. I’d been thinking of doing this for a while but I kept forgetting, but this time the song’s been stuck in my head all day.
My friend Ashah just posted this video on Facebook and it made me want to blog about it. Jenna Marbles makes me laugh but I’m not subscribed to her videos, I usually just wait for the rest of the internet to be all “Ha, this video was funny.” My philosophy about videos is the ones that go viral are very rarely actually worth watching, but the ones that get linked by a few Facebook/Tumblr/Twitter friends are usually worth checking out. That’s my justification for being lazy and not just staying active on YouTube more often.
The video I want to talk about discusses what Jenna’s boyfriend Max has dubbed “goo hoarding.” It’s the strange obsession most girls (and even some guys) have with constantly buying products they already have at home, such as buying a new shampoo or foundation because you think you might like it better than what you’ve already tried, even though you probably have a half-empty container of something very similar.
She also discusses the hilarity of owning a ton of purses and then stuffing them all with garbage, both literal and metaphorical, but I want to talk about the goo hoarding.
I laughed and nodded while watching this video, but personally, this actually doesn’t apply to me. I don’t own ANY lipgloss, though I do own almost every lip balm made by EOS. I have a couple tubes of lipstick, only one I actually wear (and not even all that often) and the rest are at least ten years old. One tube of mascara. One shampoo and conditioner, two body washes but that’s because one exfoliates and I use that on my face because I’m convinced I’ll rip my eyelids off if I try using a poof/loofa thing on my face. I do have multiple types of eyeliner though. I have at least two of each kind, pencil/liquid/gel. But I don’t have more than three of each, so that’s still not exactly hoarding, especially since it’s one of 2-3 colors and not all the same color. And I mean they’re actually different, I have black and purple and at least one blue, it’s not like I say “they’re different colors” but what I actually mean is they’re different shades of black. I have one type of foundation that I actually use as a concealer because I use mineral foundation on the rest of my face. And I only have two types of lotion, both unscented, one for my face and one for my hands & body. I’m just not much of a goo hoarder.
I do own multiple purses but I think only three, and I’ll never understand why girls carry around purses big enough to tote a toddler in, they convince themselves they need everything in the purse when most of it rarely sees the light of day.
I like to say I fail hardcore at being a girl, but the truth is I just don’t have this annoying quirk so many girls have. I have my own annoying hoarding quirks, like pens. I can NEVER have enough pens. Never. Enough. Pens.
Due to new cell growth etc-scientific-anatomy-stuff I don’t know much about, our tastebuds change approximately every seven years. Because of this, I tend to try foods every so often in case I no longer dislike them. Sometimes I do in fact learn to like something I used to dislike, or I no longer like what I used to love. And sometimes, my tastes remain the same. There’s a small list of foods I’ve absolutely hated my whole life. Everything mentioned in this video, for instance:
Tonight I tried some cooked broccoli just to see if I like it yet. Nope, I sure don’t. In the above video, at approximately 2:30 into it I mention a photo I have of me as a toddler at a neighbor’s house eating a piece of broccoli. It took some digging, but I found the photo.
The latest bandwagon everyone’s been jumping on to try and have a viral YouTube video is Shit People Say. As far as I know, it started with Shit Girls Say, and the idea went supernova and everyone with a video camera ejaculated themselves at the thought of being able to do their own version, and there’s now about a bajllion videos based on typical things certain people say, even including Shit People Say About Shit People Say Videos. It’s just goddamn all over the place. Just go to YouTube and type in “shit girls say” or “shit people say” and you get hundreds of results, most of which probably aren’t even funny. One of the worst things about comedy is everyone thinks they can be funny. To quote the movie My Blue Heaven, “Of course you have a sense of humor. Everyone thinks they do, even people who don’t.” The problem is not everyone’s idea of humor is the same as other people’s, so a lot of these videos are just plain stupid.
And unfortunately, it seems my friends on Facebook just absolutely love boring humor, because I have to see at least one of these videos on my Wall every week. I’ve stopped watching them, although Shit White Girls Say to Arab Girls was pretty funny. The latest one on my Wall is Shit People Say In L.A and since I live in Los Angeles, I figured I’d check it out. And although this video makes it pretty obvious what part of L.A these girls live in and they missed a LOT they could’ve added, most of it’s pretty spot on. Especially the comments about In-N-Out, I have no idea what this city sees in that place, the fries are horrible and the burgers are nothing special.
So for those of you who think it must be glamorous to live in The City Of Angels, I’m actually surrounded by jerkoffs.
My Aunt Cheri posted this video on Facebook and I watched it while nodding repeatedly. If you don’t want to watch the video (or for whatever reason, can’t watch it), it’s about a middle-aged woman who was told by her doctor that she suffers from Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. She goes on to explain how the ADD manifests: It starts off with a chore that needs to get done but as she’s heading over to do it, she notices another chore she needs to do, but as she starts that chore, she notices yet another thing she needs to take care of. And it goes on, then the day’s over and she can’t figure out why nothing got done even though she remembers being very busy throughout the day.
I’m sure it’s safe to say the older crowd isn’t the only age who deals with this, though obviously it gets much worse as you gain more responsibilities over the years. I decided to make my own list of “ADD caused by trying to do everything at the same time.” I’ll just pick something at random.
I want to update my daily planner with what I did today. I’d gone to the market with my mother and bought some things off my grocery list, but I can’t remember everything, so I’ll go ask her what all we got so I can cross it off my list. Since I’m getting up, I might as well refill my drink, so I bring my glass into the kitchen. I put the glass on the counter and realize the dishes that were drying are now fully dry and ready to be put away, so I might as well take care of that. I should also wash the dishes that are in the sink, so I’ll let those soak while I put away the dry ones. (Note: We have a dishwasher, but it’s currently busted.) Before turning on the faucet, I go into the living room to see if there are any dirty dishes out there to put into the sink. Dad’s watching television and tells me to look at a funny scene in the movie he’s watching, so I stop what I’m doing to stand and stare at the tv for a minute. My dog thinks now’s a good time to play with me, but can’t find his tug-o-war toy, so I go to look for it. I thought I remembered seeing it in my bedroom, so I go in there and notice a pile of my laundry I’d meant to fold and put away hours ago. I walk over to start on that but remember I’d also meant to wash my bedding, so I strip off my sheets and head to the washing machine in the back of the house. As I’m passing my dog’s bowls, I notice he’s out of water, so I put my bedding on top of the washing machine and start back to my dog’s water dish. Mom calls me from the other room to ask a question, and while I’m in there, I remember I’d wanted to ask her something but I can’t remember what. By now, it’s dinner time and mom goes to the kitchen to start cooking, and asks me to go get her a fresh hand towel from the linen closet. I make a detour through the room with my desk and hear my email notification go off, so I walk over to my computer to quickly check my email and immediately forget everything I’d been trying to get done.
Then the day’s near over and I’m scrambling to finish all my chores as I’m walking around the house noticing all this half-finished stuff I’d started.
I’m Jewish, but I celebrate Christmas as well. I grew up celebrating both Christmas and Chanukah because while most of my family is Jewish, my maternal grandfather was Lutheran, and I just love all the lights and joy, it’s not just a ploy to get more presents. Christmas time for me means watching Will Vinton’s Claymation Christmas Celebration. Made in 1987, it’s a look back at when animation involved a whole lot more than sitting at a computer.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not putting down CGI artists, I know that can be intense time-consuming work as well, but I miss the days where more things were drawn and created by hand, not just with a mouse and keyboard.
Thanks to YouTube, you can watch this Special if you’ve never seen it, or like me, remember watching it as a kid. I own it on DVD, but I’m glad I found it online so I can post it here for others to watch. Happy Holidays, everybody!
