Category Archives: site

Best search terms of the week, Tumblr edition.

I’ve barely had any search term referrals to this blog, and I’ve been rather grateful for it. It’s not that I’m trying to keep a family-friendly blog, I know eventually I’ll start getting some really creepy referrals, but for now I’m not missing the days when my defunct photo blog earned traffic through search terms like “monkey nipples” and “emmalina sex video” and that sort of thing. Emma’s sex tape can be found here by the way.

I know you’re currently sitting there wondering if that’s legit or a rickroll.

I decided to talk about some of the search term referrals I get on my Tumblr. I have Google Analytics installed on it, because Tumblr doesn’t have its own way to show you how people find your blog. Most of the keywords tend to be rather boring, but some are weird, funny, and/or perverted.

  • “ephebophilia” — Definition.
  • “fat suicide girls” — …Do fat Suicide Girls actually exist?
  • “double vagina” — I… What?!
  • “jailbait only” — Ew.
  • “1990s barbie skates light up”
  • I believe they mean Rollerblade Barbie, the infamous Barbie whose skates had an actual flint wheel that would cause sparks to shoot out from behind her as you pushed her across almost any surface.

    Baby's First Fire Extinguisher sold separately.

    Miraculously, the skates didn’t melt. But there were a whole lot of other problems caused by this Barbie, especially with the kids who for some reason were allowed to play with hairspray. I personally never had any problems with that Barbie, even despite living in a house with hardwood floors.

  • “how to pose for suicide girls” — If you have to ask, you’ll never know.
  • “pear chan naked” — Here you go.
  • “rainbow pubes” — My friend Ariel did this. She is one awesome girl.

Now that I’ve officially ruined this blog’s chances of being family-friendly for much longer, I’ll probably write another entry like this soon.

Hello, again!

So, I’ve begun a new website. A new blog, to be exact. The reason behind this new blog is probably going to be a little confusing, so I’ll start from the beginning, because trying to explain it quickly won’t sound like much more than “Because I wanted to.”

I’ve been blogging since I was a teenager, being part of a few different sites and eventually joining Livejournal — back when you needed a code (called a token) given from an existing member to start your own account — and becoming an actual blogger instead of just bitching about schoolmates or posting rigged results to surveys like “What color underpants are you?” or “What character from Invader Zim are you?”

I say they were rigged because, admit it, we ALL chose the answers we knew would get the result we wanted, not the answers that could actually describe our personality.

I don’t know the exact year I’d joined Livejournal, but it was in the late 90′s. In 2003 I registered heatherface.com, then changed my Livejournal name to Heatherface. Eight years later, I’m known as Heatherface almost all over the internet — which is almost embarrassing to admit since some of those accounts have been around since the dawn of time.

I still own heatherface.com and sort of use it, but for some reason, I’ve never gotten the hang of blogging on that site despite numerous attempts, including two abandoned daily photo projects because I stupidly kept trying to post photos I’d taken that day, and that doesn’t go well if you don’t actually do anything that day, so the blog became a chore.

So heatherface.com has become a catch-all where I let people know “Hey I made a new vlog,” or “Hey I painted my nails again.” I’ve officially given up trying to blog there other than my nail art, that blog is actually going really well. As for Livejournal, well… I’m not going to get into what happened, honestly because I’m tired of talking about it at this point, but I no longer feel that I can just openly talk on there, almost as if I found out my grandmother reads it and I’m forced to actually watch what I say. I realized that if I’m going to be censoring my thoughts and making sure I don’t air dirty laundry on the internet, I might as well have a public blog.

And there, finally, is where this blog comes into play. I had a free URL from my hosting plan anyway, so I might as well use it. And if I’m going to have another URL, I might as well use it for a public blog. I’m not entirely sure what I plan to do here, but I’ve finally decided to stop hiding behind a locked Livejournal and have an actual blog that even my mother could read if she wanted to.

(Hi, mom!)

And in conclusion, you can now see why the short answer is “Because I wanted to.” Because starting a new blog, especially on a brand new website, is the electronic equivalent of buying a new paper journal and that’s one of my favorite feelings.

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