Goodbye, Davis.

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This week I lost the friendship of someone I once considered one of my best friends. Back in 2009 before I’d deleted my MySpace account, I was on there looking at profiles of local people to see if any were worth trying to befriend. I found Davis and he seemed cool, so I sent him a message and we started chatting. At the time, Davis lived in Hollywood so we decided to meet and hang out. We clicked immediately, it was like we’d known each other for years, almost everyone refused to believe we weren’t longtime friends.

The friendship was awesome for over a year, we were really close. He’d grown to be one of my best friends even despite no longer being local, he’d moved to San Francisco pretty soon after we met but he still visited L.A since he had business to do here for his music career, so I still got to see him every so often. Then he moved to Florida, and that’s about the time our friendship started to fade. I made up excuses for him, thinking he wasn’t keeping in touch on a daily basis anymore because he was busy with his career. The truth was he’d made a new group of friends and obviously having martinis with them was more fun than chatting with me. I didn’t need to be told, the truth was right there in his tweets and Facebook posts, then again the next day when he complained of a hangover. He stopped telling me his plans, I’d find out his plans to travel somewhere through comments he made to other people on Facebook, I wouldn’t have even seen that much if it weren’t for the ticker on the homepage that shows everyone’s public comments. Even if he was visiting L.A again, I almost literally didn’t find out till he was already off the plane. Eventually I stopped bothering to make excuses, I could tell our friendship wasn’t as tight anymore.

The last time I saw him was in January, we went to a museum with my mom and we all had a great day. As we always did when we hung out, we made a long video for YouTube where we spent the whole time goofing around and making fun of each other. We’d made plans to hang out again before he went back to Florida but that ended up not happening. The last time I spoke to him, had an actual conversation with him, was early February. From then to this week, we hadn’t texted each other at all, partly because he’s been travelling back and forth to Berlin. But due to the fact that we weren’t talking beyond the occasional dumb comment on Twitter, it was pretty damn obvious the friendship was on its last leg.

He decided he wanted to have “honey blonde” hair, and made the genius decision of getting his hair bleached in Berlin. The hairdresser either didn’t understand the color Davis wanted or just wasn’t professional enough to know how to do it, so Davis ended up with bright platinum blonde hair. He’s Sicilian, he has an olive complexion, the bright blonde doesn’t suit him at all. And I didn’t bother trying to pretend I liked it, I told him exactly what I thought of it. All the other comments he was getting were “OMG DAVIS I LOVE IT YOU LOOK GREAT” and I can’t help but wonder if those people ever bother telling the truth or if they just lie and then talk shit about their “friends” behind their backs, I can’t remember actually seeing any of these people say anything bad to Davis. Because honestly, if your friends ALWAYS say you look amazing, you can bet they’re not always telling the truth or not even really paying attention to whatever they’re complimenting. I always tell the truth. I don’t sugarcoat my opinion. You bet your ass I’ll tell you if I think you look like an asshole. Davis looks like an asshole with platinum hair, it just does not look good against his skintone.

He got pissed at me for my opinion. Whether it’s because I wasn’t kissing his ass or because I was so blunt and crass with my wording, we got into a fight about it and he said “bye” and blocked me on Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube.

Since I was no longer following him, I was no longer seeing his tweets and I’m not the type of person who’ll go out of my way to read posts by someone who wants nothing to do with me. But someone else brought one of his tweets to my attention, and considering the timing, it’s obviously about me.

Dead weight?! How was I ever dead weight! Dead weight is something that’s holding you back, and I wasn’t holding you back from a damn thing, Davis. You want to know what your dead weight is? Yourself. Especially your severe mood swings, the anger and the melancholy, the fact that you should probably be medicated before you eventually hurt yourself. I wasn’t dead weight, I was a great friend, I was there to help you through a lot of drama and stress and bullshit. It’s your own problem if you want to forget that.

So I’m just assuming he’s had a problem with me for a while and this was just the final nail in the coffin, but the fact is he ended our friendship because of hair. He’s changed so drastically this past year that he’s barely the person I remember befriending in 2009, and obviously he stopped feeling as close to me as well, so this is obviously for the best. I’m writing this entry to say farewell to the friendship, so I can remember the good times we had and not just hold a pointless hatred for the final fight. That fight was stupid in every sense of the word but I stand by my opinion, and I really did see this coming. I lost his friendship a while ago, this was no surprise. It’s rather pathetic it officially ended because of hair, but at least I can remember the good times.

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4 Responses to Goodbye, Davis.

  1. I’ve had a lot of people come and go in my life. Usually, I’m pretty good at just letting go and walking away, almost to the point of being ruthless about it.

    There was this one friend though, that I had since I was a sophomore in high school. She was my best friend, and even if we didn’t speak for almost a year and when we would we would just fall back into a comfortable pattern with each other. In our mid-twenties I found that we were growing apart. We took two completely different paths in life, but we tried really hard to be close still; even when it was glaringly apparent that we really didn’t have a lot in common. The years went on and I had a child, a good career, and she seemed to have issue with it. She had some problems, and when she came through the other side the glaring difference was definitely visible. When I had my accident and I came through the other side, I was far different as well, but we had grown apart; yet, we still held on.

    It wasn’t until Alma and I got together and she said she didn’t approve that I finally just sat down and realized that all these years, I had this supposed friendship with someone I didn’t even really like. I completely let her go that day, and kept moving on with my life. It taught me a huge lesson though. I had developed a habit of holding on to people because they had been in my life for a long time, not because they were necessarily good for me or real friends. That was the day, I realized that some times it’s okay to let go of someone when they no longer hold a healthy part of your life. That it’s better to walk away while you still liked them than to hold on and resent them at a later date and those old good memories are clouded by the bad ones.

    I’m sorry that this happened with you and Davis, but some times people come into your life at a specific time for a reason and when that reason, whatever it is, is finished they and you move on. It sounds like the whole situation was blown out of proportion, but I know from experience, that some friends walk away when they start doing things in life they don’t think you won’t approve of.

    Plus, and I don’t know him at all, if he’s starting a music career, he’s in danger of having people who are just hangers on and pretending to be friends and really aren’t. I hope that isn’t what is happening, but seriously, even if you were blunt and crude in what you said, he should have been mature enough to tell you how he felt about it before just jumping to the block button.

    Friends come and go, and yes, it can hurt when one leaves, but I like to think that there is always a reason for the change. Change, in my opinion, is usually for the better in most cases.

    Sorry if this is tl;dr, but I wanted to share.

    • Yeah dude, absolutely. I agree with everything you said. Everything happens for a reason, including gaining and losing friendships.

  2. That’s sad; you two seemed to be getting on so well.
    Oh well, as the saying goes, Shit Happens.

  3. Sometimes that’s all you can do…….. Is move on and remember the good times. Love you from the moon and back. Love that you are comfortable enough with yourself to say whats on your mind……. His loss……….

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