I’m chatting with my friend Ben through texts right now. My ringtone goes off and I look at the phone to see it’s Ben, so I figure maybe he decided he’d rather talk than text. But I answer and there’s no reply from him, I just hear noise, almost like television static. So I hang up and ask him in a text if he just buttdialed me. “I may have,” he says. “My butt loves you.” Fantastic. Thanks, Ben’s butt.
A very large chunk of my generation hates talking on the phone. So do a lot of younger people but who cares about teenagers, am I right? They bitch about not getting an iPhone for Christmas. (The three teenagers I’m friends with are reading this and laughing.)
Anyway. Either people hate talking on the phone, or they hate texting and wish people would be more personal with their conversations. I figured I’d take this time to explain why I personally hate talking on the phone.
It makes me yawn. I don’t know what it is, but every single time I’m on the phone longer than a few minutes, I start to yawn uncontrollably. I think I manage to hide it most of the time from whoever I’m talking to, though I know with a few people (like my best friend Charlie) I just don’t even bother hiding it. It’s not fun trying to have a conversation with someone and just yawning every few seconds.
So there’s my reason. I hate talking on the phone because something about it makes me yawn uncontrollably.